My affair with Parle G

The world of biscuits has now boomed multifold unlike how it was back in the early 90s. With global market opening up, our children are spoilt for choices – stores offer myriad flavours, textures, sizes and shapes of tasty baked treats made of flour and sugar.

When I step into a store today, my heart whirls in the biscuits section. I walk in like a child and I hear the mutterings of these ‘Biscuit Wonkas’ bellowing taglines and jingles, luring me to reach out my hands and pick one as against the others. But whom do I favour, what do I pick? This time as I walked by, bored of this melodrama, my eyes found the little pale yellow packet with the big G on it, lying quietly hidden with finger on her lips, among the screaming bright reds, purples, blues and violets trying to catch my attention.

As I picked it up and held it in my hands, memories came rushing back to me… (rewind…)

I am ten, parents are away on some errand and they believe I am doing my social studies homework for tomorrow’s class. My tummy feels naughty and my tongue tickles for a sugary snack – biscuits!

I sneak into the kitchen to find the jar and drop my hand in to find them. I love dipping them in sweet chocolate milk. However, no milk now as milk time is over. Use the next best liquid available – water!

I pick up a glass of water and settle down there with a spoon. I pick up a biscuit, drown it in and carefully lift it back up with my finger tip. (I like it to be fully soaked, not half crunchy and half soft.) I look at it for a moment, it starts to bend, now I test my skills! I drive it in a jiffy into my mouth, to savour the taste of fresh water sweetened with flour and sugar melting in the mouth. It disappears down my throat in less than a second, like it never existed. So I go in for my next.

Ah! How I loved those days! Call me crazy but I have spent considerable amount of my lone time testing the spongy nature of the biscuits we got those days – Marie, Milk bikis, Nice and Parle G. And I had perfected the art of dropping it in my mouth at the right time. But this is only after several attempts to derive perfection. If you too are a nut like me, below are some tips from a veteran to a novice

1. Timing is cruicial- the crunchiness and thickness and butter content of each biscuit determines how long you can dip it in water. You should also know that some amount of sugar is lost in the water, but its not significant enough to demotivate you next time! For example- to make a Marie biscuit soft, you can break it in half, dip it in and begin to read a book! It will be soft by the end of the first chapter!

2. Place- you need to find a place that allows you the freedom to clean up after accidents. So couches, clothes, bed etc, NOT advisable!

3. Increasing the romance between you and your biscuit from the time you dip it till the time you devour it – this is like kapalabhati- the more you do it the longer is the sustenance time. When you are an expert you will love to watch it and judge when its going to fold!

4. Always have a spoon – If it does fall into the water, use a spoon and scoop it up quickly and tactfully before it disintegrates and makes for a slushy mushy distasteful watery drink.

5. Last taste – I always liked the taste of the biscuits to be the last taste for my taste buds to hang on to and not the water. So I always ended the affair with this exercise when I know my tummy was about to burst and I couldn’t eat them anymore. Dip the biscuit, hold it with one hand, quickly down the water into your mouth with the other, and then get the soaked biscuit into your mouth, all before it folds and flops!

6. Lastly- Donot leave the biscuit jar empty! Ever!!

I was a master of the art! I developed a deep connection and love for these biscuits. We shared a very unique bond with each other. We gave each other company and exposed them to fresh air while they suffocated in an airtight box while they fulfilled my sugar craving; and they loved me back because I spent time observing them and understanding their nature unlike other children who heartlessly just devoured them.

You see, biscuits aren’t meant to be strangled and mindlessly bitten into or mutilated in hot milk! They are to be treated with tender love and care!